Hello From Before The Grave
By Arrow Santos
Welp, we’re all gonna die. As a matter of fact, some of you will read this after I am dead, so hello to my internet stalkers. It’s not that I’m dying with urgency, just passively like the rest of you. I currently plan to be still “here” to write the next monthly column - although the writing process is so stressful it may actually be the kinetic death of me. But come on, I’m not the only person who Googles someone when I see a local obituary or tragic news story. And in case you go (you know, like, go…go) before me, I’m glad you had a chance to read this now.
We don’t think of death itself as contagious, yet it happens to everything and is spread by life. You bring a child into existence in the hopes you will eventually bestow them immense pain at your mortal passing, signifying two goals achieved: they outlived you, and you fostered a parental relationship that was worthy of being missed. One or both of those objectives are too often devastatingly not attained.
Hey guy, getting a little dark here. Couldn’t you just write about hotdogs, fireworks, summer tourism dollars, the chamber of commerce, rising interest rates and the inflation problems affecting businesses, and the continued lack of available workers, or something?
No.
I’ve been to a lot of funerals. Way too many. At least two dozen. Honestly, more than that, I think, but I would rather not have to reminisce on the entire list to give you the official count. Add on my five years working in the field of emergency medicine, and I’ve been under the tutelage of Mortality for more lessons than I wished to receive.
The dramatic evil often captures the spotlight on fear, with many terrified of the unceasing news stories warning of the world ending in a nuclear apocalypse, societal collapse, or climate disaster. Statistically, your meat-suit occupancy permit will expire due to the much more boring but no less tragic reasons of heart disease, cancer, or accident. You see, the whole world doesn’t need to end all at once; your world can end anytime.
Never, not once, have I heard a grieving loved one memorialize the recently deceased by speaking on the money they accumulated, the corporate power they wielded, or the positions held on their resume. I’ve been to cemeteries full of grandparents, fathers, mothers, siblings, family, best friends, and occasionally heroes. I have never been to a graveyard full of CEOs, real estate investors, bitcoin traders, Porsche drivers, fitness enthusiasts, or Instagram-famous business coaches. It seems like what we do all day, every day, and how we are remembered forever are rarely connected in the ways that seem so radically important while judging our own value while here on earth.
May the pain and lessons of the terminated physical lives in my life not be lost on your ongoing living, neighbor. It’s not about what you saved up but what you gave away. It’s not about how you felt but how you made other people feel. It’s not about how much real estate you owned, but about how much heart real estate you occupied. It’s not about what you remember, but about what they will remember about you.
Don’t take my word for it. Ask someone you cherish to write your one-page draft eulogy, starting with “(Your name here) was…” and see what they include, and more importantly, what they don’t.
Better businesses start with living better lives, while we still can.
Until next time?
Arrow Santos is a San Clemente native, professional writer/photographer, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup enthusiast, and follower of Jesus. As marketing director of WynneCRE, he has shown his dedication to helping small businesses with their commercial real estate needs and protecting San Clemente’s small-town interests through active community participation and reporting on business news topics. Email Arrow at arrow@wynnecre.com or call/text at 949.257.2093.